A sneak peek at the Vista SP1 source code?

Sometimes I get criticised for writing positively about Microsoft products and being critical of Apple – hey, with the MacBook Air, it’s hard not to notice the lack of substance – what next? an invisible Apple notebook? (thanks to Alex for sending me that – and he used to evangelise almost everything that Cupertino produced before Apple products started to get popular and they began putting shareholders ahead of customers). I like to think that I’m pretty objective but then again my day job does involve consulting on Microsoft technologies so just in case there is any bias around here I thought I’d redress the balance with a little spoof about some Windows Vista SP1 source code that seems to have escaped into the public domain:

/*
  TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Project:Longhorn(TM) SP1
  Estimated release date: 2008
*/
<br />
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "leopard.h"
<br />
char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];
<br />
void main() {
&nbsp;&nbsp;while(!CRASHED) {
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;if(first_time_install) {
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;make_10_gigabyte_swapfile();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;do_nothing_loop();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;search_and_destroy(FIREFOX|OPENOFFICEORG|ANYTHING_GOOGLE);
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;hang_system();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;}
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;if(still_not_crashed) {
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;basically_run_windows_xp();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;do_nothing_loop();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;}
&nbsp;&nbsp;}
<br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;if(!DX10GPU()) {
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;set_graphics(aero, very_slow);
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
&nbsp;&nbsp;}
<br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;//printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
&nbsp;&nbsp;//printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
&nbsp;&nbsp;printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");
<br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;while(something) {
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;sleep(10);
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;get_user_input();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;sleep(10);
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;act_on_user_input();
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;sleep(10);
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk);
&nbsp;&nbsp;}
<br />
&nbsp;&nbsp;create_general_protection_fault();
}

(I got this from multiple sources but they all seem to lead back to a Linux Format advert for TechRadar).

Now, the reason I’m posting this is that most Microsofties can appreciate the geek humour and have a chuckle. Sadly the Linux guys at FedoraForum chose to demonstrate their geekdom by descending into discussions of “the M$ tax” and other such ramblings in the vein of “my operating system is better than your operating system”. Yawn! One even commented that slow Vista sales were good for Linux (hmm… how’s that then? There may be a Mac revival going on in the consumer marketplace but I haven’t heard about a massive defection of dissatisfied Windows Vista users moving to Linux – quite the opposite in fact with many people simply reverting to using a familiar Windows XP installation).

I wrote over a year back how, rightly or wrongly, Windows XP would be around for a while yet and with Vista SP1 just around the corner it really does feel as though corporate customers are starting to get ready for Vista now. Personally, I’m looking forward to getting my grubby paws on a beta of Windows 7 (hopefully later this year).

One comment

  • Thursday 31 January 2008 - 22:07 | Permalink


    Hahahaha stop it! That cracked me up. I used to be a coder in a previous life, and I still love stuff like this. I still get the Microsoft Partner emails and have seen the upcoming release of Windows Server 2008, SQL Server 2008 and VS.Net 2008. I can tell you, it has pulled the heart strings, I found myself wondering if a trip to Birmingham couldn’t be arranged…. ;-)

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