{"id":9004,"date":"2025-05-23T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-23T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.markwilson.co.uk\/blog\/?p=9004"},"modified":"2025-05-22T17:09:40","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T16:09:40","slug":"nancys-legacy-how-losing-someone-can-wake-you-up-to-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.markwilson.co.uk\/blog\/2025\/05\/nancys-legacy-how-losing-someone-can-wake-you-up-to-life.htm","title":{"rendered":"Nancy’s legacy: how losing someone can wake you up to life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Today is Nancy Wallace\u2019s funeral. Nancy was my [wife’s] sister-in-law – and although I can\u2019t be there in person (Nancy lived in the US, and I need to be in the UK this week), I\u2019ve found myself pausing. Reflecting. Remembering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though we lived on different continents and didn\u2019t see each other often, I always enjoyed Nancy\u2019s company. She was warm, supportive, and carried with her a perspective shaped by a life well lived – both through her travels and the way she connected with people. More than once, Nancy gently challenged my thinking or offered a different perspective. She had that gift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing this post – something deeply personal yet that’s being shared with the world – I struggled to find the right words to describe our relationship, but this passage from her obituary<\/a> captured it perfectly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cNancy\u2019s friends, family, and colleagues will remember her as a radiant spirit, always present, always caring, and always eager to bring people together. As a friend beautifully commented, we never thought that Nancy would leave the party early. But apparently, she had other places to be and people to befriend.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I can just hear her saying that – \u201cother places to be and people to befriend\u201d. That was Nancy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her death came as a shock to us all. She was only 59. Fit, active, full of plans. And that\u2019s the thing – when someone like Nancy dies unexpectedly, it shakes you. It makes you stop. It forces you to think about life – which inevitably means thinking about death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve had one of these moments…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What my Dad\u2019s death taught me<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When my Dad died suddenly at 63, it knocked me sideways. I was in my late-30s and pretty sedentary – I had the kind of lifestyle that comes with a desk job and not enough movement. But that event triggered something. I threw myself into fitness, ran regularly and lost over 20kg as part of my \u201cfit at forty\u201d challenge. Later, I transitioned from running to cycling and over the following decade or so I rode hundreds of miles across the UK and Europe: London to Paris; coast to coast across England; the full length of Wales.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But old habits crept back in. More accurately, my sugar addiction – and yes, it really is an addiction – reasserted itself. The weight came back. By 50, I was in therapy, dealing with anxiety, depression, and a deeply complicated relationship with food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t a pity post<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let me be clear: I\u2019m not writing this for sympathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a good life. A loving wife. Two fantastic sons, both full of ambition and potential. And I’m back in a job that I enjoy<\/a>. Financially, we\u2019re not rolling in cash, but we\u2019re not scraping by either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several years ago, I moved to a four-day working week<\/a> – a conscious choice to reclaim some time. Not just to rest, but to live a little more. To be present<\/em> rather than just productive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yet, I struggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I care. Because I want to give my family stability. Because I remember watching my Dad get made redundant in his 50s and the resulting challenges finding work again. Because – even with a stable job – the cost of living keeps creeping up. Because I\u2019ve spent so much time and energy making sure we\u2019re OK if<\/em> something goes wrong, that I\u2019ve often forgotten to enjoy what\u2019s going right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And because, the older I get, the harder it is to shift the weight. It\u2019s not just about counting calories. It’s far more complex than that<\/a> – hormones, metabolism, mental health, habits. A lifetime of habits and patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what does this have to do with Nancy?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Nancy\u2019s was just six years older than me, and only four short of the age my Dad was when he died. And, while I\u2019d like to think I still have still plenty of life in me, the truth is that none of us really knows how long we\u2019ve got.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nancy and my brother-in-law, Simon, had plans. Big ones. But she never got to see them through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We only get one life. And I\u2019ve realised I need to start living mine more fully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the last couple of decades, my focus has been on family, mortgage, job security. Sensible, responsible stuff. Important stuff. But I\u2019ve also been holding back. Waiting for the \u201cright time\u201d to do the things I dream of – travel more, work differently, embrace new experiences. There is a balancing act – between building up the pension pot and actually living<\/em> the life I\u2019m saving for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nancy\u2019s passing has reminded me that the \u201cright time\u201d might never come unless I make<\/em> it come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I need to make some changes. Tackle the sugar addiction. Get my fitness back. Be around long enough – and well enough – to support my sons as they step out into their adult lives. And then? Maybe it\u2019s time to be a little selfish. Or at least, to live a little differently. Lighter. More intentionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nancy may have left the party early, but she left behind a message – that it\u2019s time to start living. Message received, loud and clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Featured image, from the family collection – Nancy, and her beloved canine companion, Ziggy, by the water – where she loved to be.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Nancy Wallace\u2019s funeral. Nancy was my [wife’s] sister-in-law – and although I can\u2019t be there in person (Nancy lived in the US, and I need to be in the UK this week), I\u2019ve found myself pausing. Reflecting. Remembering. Even though we lived on different continents and didn\u2019t see each other often, I always … Continue reading Nancy’s legacy: how losing someone can wake you up to life<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9027,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[729],"class_list":["post-9004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inane-waffle","tag-family"],"yoast_head":"\nNancy's legacy: how losing someone can wake you up to life - markwilson.it<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A personal reflection on loss, mid-life, and the reminder that life doesn\u2019t wait. 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